Its been a hot minute, since I have had anything to type. But I got a few gems stored up. Let's get started, shall we?
Timmy to me at dinner about a week ago: Mom, when is daddy coming home?
Me: VERRRRRYYYY soon!
Timmy: cause if he doesn't come home soon, we should just get a new dad...
We've also been trying to get Timmy to count down to Christmas and get excited. So last night he explained to Dave how Christmas was gonna go down.
Timmy: there is this many days left (holds up 3 fingers) then there is this many (holds up 2 fingers) then this many (holds up 1) THENNNNNNNNNNNNN when I wake up there is NONE.
Dave: and what does that mean?
Timmy: (in a singsong voice) it means that Sannnnnnnnnnnttttttaaaaaaaaa came! He comes in the chimney, puts presents under the tree then goes back in the chimney.
Dave: then what?
Timmy: then when I wake uppppppp, I come downstairs and see the presents then I wake you up.
Me: what are you going to say?
Timmy: (eye roll) WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh
Timmy: then I will wake up Nicky and Sissy, and then we will open our presents. And Santa will leave presents for me and Sissy and Nicky and I think I am going to get this many (holds up 5 fingers) and he is going to leave candy in my stocking and presents for puppy in his stocking and Sissy doesn't get candy and...
Dave: do I get candy?
Timmy: (exasperated sigh) NO! You are too old and not a kid. Only kids get candy. (deep breath) there's gonna be lots of presennnnnntttttttsssssss....I can't wait.
And since today is baking/cooking day, I am sure there will be a few more gems. Hope everyone is having a magical few days before Christmas x0x0x
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Just some pictures
I figured I owed some pictures...my apologies to those reading on a phone. Here are a few that I have been promising.
So those are some of the pics from the last couple days. And in true Timmy fashion, he licked the frosting off all the cookies then threw them away. Maybe next year....
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| My kiddies waiting to go into the Christmas Bazaar |
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| The stocking I was conned into buying for Puppy |
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| The Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Tim and Nik brought me home |
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| the one I made them go get from a tree lot after seeing the Charlie Brown one |
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| Timmy was helping decorate cookies |
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| shakey shakey shakey on the cookies |
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| annnnnnd now he is drinking the sugar...sigh |
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| and the sprinkles too |
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| that's a LOT of sprinkles |
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Tim/Timmy Paradox
Tim and Rachel came over today. Rach was helping me bake and Tim went to cut down our Christmas tree (pictures to follow). Timmy was playing with Tim and started throwing things so Tim said no more playing, cause Timmy wasn't listening to the rules. So the following is the conversation between, Tim and Timmy:
Timmy: Can I play your phone?
Tim: No.
Timmy: Why? I just want to play your phone.
Tim: No. You know why?
Timmy: That's cause you're Idiot Boy.
Tim: (oblivious to what Timmy just said) Its cause you don't follow the rules.
Rachel and I: Hahahahahasnorthahahaha
Tim: what? what did he say?
Yeah, so next time you see Tim...Idiot Boy is his new name.
Timmy: Can I play your phone?
Tim: No.
Timmy: Why? I just want to play your phone.
Tim: No. You know why?
Timmy: That's cause you're Idiot Boy.
Tim: (oblivious to what Timmy just said) Its cause you don't follow the rules.
Rachel and I: Hahahahahasnorthahahaha
Tim: what? what did he say?
Yeah, so next time you see Tim...Idiot Boy is his new name.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
some evening snippets
Today consisted of going to the Dollar store and watching Shrek 4. I got these 2 bits today...
Leaving for the Dollar Store:
Timmy: I want to go to the store and get french fries and chocolate.
Nikolas: We aren't going to McDonalds, stop asking or she definitely won't take us.
Timmy: Nicky. I'm hungry. Do you *think that I have chocolate milk in my belly. NO!. Do you you think I have french fries in my belly? NO. So I need those in my belly Nicky or I swear to GOD I will kill you.
While watching Shrek:
Timmy: Mommy, if you put your fingers in your nose you can make a noise like Shrek. See....
I am sure there will be more pictures and funny stuff tomorrow as I am going to attempt to teach Timothy how to decorate cookies while Nikolas goes with Tim to cut down our Christmas tree.
Leaving for the Dollar Store:
Timmy: I want to go to the store and get french fries and chocolate.
Nikolas: We aren't going to McDonalds, stop asking or she definitely won't take us.
Timmy: Nicky. I'm hungry. Do you *think that I have chocolate milk in my belly. NO!. Do you you think I have french fries in my belly? NO. So I need those in my belly Nicky or I swear to GOD I will kill you.
While watching Shrek:
Timmy: Mommy, if you put your fingers in your nose you can make a noise like Shrek. See....
I am sure there will be more pictures and funny stuff tomorrow as I am going to attempt to teach Timothy how to decorate cookies while Nikolas goes with Tim to cut down our Christmas tree.
Wow, really?
This morning was awesome. Timmy came down and we cuddled on the couch and watch The Polar Express. During the movie, he got up to go to the bathroom. He came back out with no clothes on just underwear, inside out and backwards.
Me: Why are you wearing that?
Timmy: I am not allowed to be naked mom, you said!
Me: Ok but your underwear is backwards. You have to put it on with the wiener slot in the front.
Timmy: there is more room for my nutsack this way.
Sigh. I thought we were over nutsacks. And seriously? 3 and bragging about the size of his package? Lord help me....
Me: Why are you wearing that?
Timmy: I am not allowed to be naked mom, you said!
Me: Ok but your underwear is backwards. You have to put it on with the wiener slot in the front.
Timmy: there is more room for my nutsack this way.
Sigh. I thought we were over nutsacks. And seriously? 3 and bragging about the size of his package? Lord help me....
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Needing an honest opinion
A slight departure this morning as I need a truthful, honest opinion. This small thing, might not even come to pass, BUT if it does, I want to know what the appropriate response should be, in your humble (or not so humble) opinions.
Every year, the local Rotary Club puts on a Christmas party, complete with Santa and presents, for Sydney's class. Syd is in what is called a "Lifeskills" class. The focus is not so much on the academic, but rather more social aspects. All the the students in her class are varying in degrees of disabilities. There are kids with SEVERE autism, Downs Syndrome, severe learning disabilities, non walkers, non talkers, kids that are small, kids that are tall, blind, deaf....you name it, I am sure one of the kids has it. (Not being a smartass, I swear, it just is what it is, her class is for multiple handicaps). The Rotary Club asks the teacher to send home a note to the parents asking what the child would like for Christmas. This year, the note said that the present would be in the $20-25.00 price range and would likely be purchased specifically at Target.
Last year, I filled out the form about what Sydney would like. It included inexpensive items(in my opinion), like a Scooby Doo movie, a Spongebob Movie, High School Musical DVD or perhaps a Barbie Doll. When I went into that class that day, Sydney's teachers told me to look at how cute her present was. I was looking around the room and saw one little girl playing with a Dore the Explorer Doll with accessories and she talked, a little boy playing with a Leap Frog toy, another boy with a remote start train set, a girl with a HUGE crayola crayon set(crayons, markers, paints etc) and a gigantic coloring pad. I was really excited that Sydney, for once, was gonna get something SUPER cool and her brothers would be jealous. I got to her desk and there were 2 hand puppets. For the kid with no control over her hands. Puppets. Yes, they were soft. And yes it was a gift. But I was a little upset when I looked around. All the other kids had these GREAT awesome fantastic toys and Syd got puppets. (Mind you she was 8, not 2)
I fully get that its hard to buy toys for her. I do. Trust me. I am the ones that buys them for her. But why ask me for a list of things she might want if she isn't going to get them. And I understand for me to be upset about something that was a gift is a little (or a lot) uhhh...Grinchy. I will only defend myself by saying that I just want my kid to be treated like other kids. I want her to have what my friends kids have. I don't care that she doesn't play with things (as is evidenced by the dolls she has had since her first Christmas that are still mint condition in the boxes in her closet). I just want her to be treated fairly.
So with all that being said, I come to today's dilemma/problem/imaginary situation. Today is the Rotary party. The kids are going to the Cheyenne Mountain Resort. Parents are not invited, cause I think there is more than one school participating and they don't want the chaos of kids, parents, presents. I filled out her permission slip/present request about a month ago. I specifically asked for 3 things, Ramona and Beezus DVD, something like this http://www.amazon.com/Project-Runway-Graphic-T-Shirt-Studio-Box/dp/B003HS5JYY/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1KW258CJKVKIG&colid=2BZKNKJ8ESEMV or like this http://www.amazon.com/Faber-Castell-Pretty-Pedicure-Salon/dp/B0015DHK40/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2LJ8ZEQMC2ISF&colid=2BZKNKJ8ESEMV (in case you can't look a Project Runway Tshirt Designer kit or a Pedicure Salon).
I have been a little worried for the last couple weeks. What if Syd comes home with some bullshit puppets again? What if they get her something they feel more appropriate for her? What then? Do I just accept the gift gracefully and keep my mouth shut? Do I send the gift back to the Rotary Club and say "Thanks but no thanks, you didn't get what my daughter requested"? Do I make a big scene and call bullshit on whomever is changing the list that *I* as her MOTHER requested for MY child? Do I simply refuse to let her attend next year?
I obviously know, that sometimes they can't get EXACTLY what you request. A reasonable substitution would be fine. Something similar. NOT a baby toy and not puppets. And I know, that sending the gift back is really awful. And making a scene is awful. I really wouldn't do either of those things, realistically. But I feel like I need to stand up for my kid. No one else does, that's MY job as her mother. If she were a "normal" or "regular" kid, I would feel the same way, if she was getting crapped on while everyone else was living the high life, you are damn straight I would tell somebody.
This might all not be an issue, if she comes home today with a cool toy. I just feel like I need to be prepared in what my response would/could/should be. I don't want to be upset like I was last year.
So tell me friends, what would you do??
Every year, the local Rotary Club puts on a Christmas party, complete with Santa and presents, for Sydney's class. Syd is in what is called a "Lifeskills" class. The focus is not so much on the academic, but rather more social aspects. All the the students in her class are varying in degrees of disabilities. There are kids with SEVERE autism, Downs Syndrome, severe learning disabilities, non walkers, non talkers, kids that are small, kids that are tall, blind, deaf....you name it, I am sure one of the kids has it. (Not being a smartass, I swear, it just is what it is, her class is for multiple handicaps). The Rotary Club asks the teacher to send home a note to the parents asking what the child would like for Christmas. This year, the note said that the present would be in the $20-25.00 price range and would likely be purchased specifically at Target.
Last year, I filled out the form about what Sydney would like. It included inexpensive items(in my opinion), like a Scooby Doo movie, a Spongebob Movie, High School Musical DVD or perhaps a Barbie Doll. When I went into that class that day, Sydney's teachers told me to look at how cute her present was. I was looking around the room and saw one little girl playing with a Dore the Explorer Doll with accessories and she talked, a little boy playing with a Leap Frog toy, another boy with a remote start train set, a girl with a HUGE crayola crayon set(crayons, markers, paints etc) and a gigantic coloring pad. I was really excited that Sydney, for once, was gonna get something SUPER cool and her brothers would be jealous. I got to her desk and there were 2 hand puppets. For the kid with no control over her hands. Puppets. Yes, they were soft. And yes it was a gift. But I was a little upset when I looked around. All the other kids had these GREAT awesome fantastic toys and Syd got puppets. (Mind you she was 8, not 2)
I fully get that its hard to buy toys for her. I do. Trust me. I am the ones that buys them for her. But why ask me for a list of things she might want if she isn't going to get them. And I understand for me to be upset about something that was a gift is a little (or a lot) uhhh...Grinchy. I will only defend myself by saying that I just want my kid to be treated like other kids. I want her to have what my friends kids have. I don't care that she doesn't play with things (as is evidenced by the dolls she has had since her first Christmas that are still mint condition in the boxes in her closet). I just want her to be treated fairly.
So with all that being said, I come to today's dilemma/problem/imaginary situation. Today is the Rotary party. The kids are going to the Cheyenne Mountain Resort. Parents are not invited, cause I think there is more than one school participating and they don't want the chaos of kids, parents, presents. I filled out her permission slip/present request about a month ago. I specifically asked for 3 things, Ramona and Beezus DVD, something like this http://www.amazon.com/Project-Runway-Graphic-T-Shirt-Studio-Box/dp/B003HS5JYY/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1KW258CJKVKIG&colid=2BZKNKJ8ESEMV or like this http://www.amazon.com/Faber-Castell-Pretty-Pedicure-Salon/dp/B0015DHK40/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2LJ8ZEQMC2ISF&colid=2BZKNKJ8ESEMV (in case you can't look a Project Runway Tshirt Designer kit or a Pedicure Salon).
I have been a little worried for the last couple weeks. What if Syd comes home with some bullshit puppets again? What if they get her something they feel more appropriate for her? What then? Do I just accept the gift gracefully and keep my mouth shut? Do I send the gift back to the Rotary Club and say "Thanks but no thanks, you didn't get what my daughter requested"? Do I make a big scene and call bullshit on whomever is changing the list that *I* as her MOTHER requested for MY child? Do I simply refuse to let her attend next year?
I obviously know, that sometimes they can't get EXACTLY what you request. A reasonable substitution would be fine. Something similar. NOT a baby toy and not puppets. And I know, that sending the gift back is really awful. And making a scene is awful. I really wouldn't do either of those things, realistically. But I feel like I need to stand up for my kid. No one else does, that's MY job as her mother. If she were a "normal" or "regular" kid, I would feel the same way, if she was getting crapped on while everyone else was living the high life, you are damn straight I would tell somebody.
This might all not be an issue, if she comes home today with a cool toy. I just feel like I need to be prepared in what my response would/could/should be. I don't want to be upset like I was last year.
So tell me friends, what would you do??
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
First post from my phone!! Woohoo!!!
Nik was just watching 1000 Ways to Die or some such crap. There was a story of a girl who got subpar breast implants and when she went on a plane trip to L.A., her implants grew bigger and bigger until they exploded all over the plane. And she died.
Timmy turns to me and says "mommy don't ever get bigger boobies. Then they grow grow grow and BAM then they get your guts all over the place. Thats really gross. Mommy that was GROSS."
Lol so please don't get implants. Timmy doesn't want you to die...
Monday, December 6, 2010
Quick one after dinner
Oh my lord, I am trying to type this with tears in my eyes. I swear I can't stop laughing.
We just ate dinner (pancakes and sausage for those who are nosy) and Timmy's hands were sticky, so he took a bath right away after dinner. He came down just a second ago, wrapped up in a towel and says "Mommy, I am ready for jammies" So I am drying him off and jammie-ing him up and he farted SO LOUD and so long and I started to laugh and Timmy says "Wow! That one sounded like a motorcycle!" OMG, bwahahahahahahaha I swear I am DYING! He keeps looking at me and saying things like "It was just a motorcycle fart mommy" and shrugging his shoulders. I asked him if it made his buttcheeks rumble and he says "YES! It was really fast mom!" LOL
Oh lordy, thank you Timmy. Motorcycle farts...bwahahahahaha
We just ate dinner (pancakes and sausage for those who are nosy) and Timmy's hands were sticky, so he took a bath right away after dinner. He came down just a second ago, wrapped up in a towel and says "Mommy, I am ready for jammies" So I am drying him off and jammie-ing him up and he farted SO LOUD and so long and I started to laugh and Timmy says "Wow! That one sounded like a motorcycle!" OMG, bwahahahahahahaha I swear I am DYING! He keeps looking at me and saying things like "It was just a motorcycle fart mommy" and shrugging his shoulders. I asked him if it made his buttcheeks rumble and he says "YES! It was really fast mom!" LOL
Oh lordy, thank you Timmy. Motorcycle farts...bwahahahahaha
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Oh my children
Most days are pleasant in the Jo household. We wake up, watch some TV, eat a little food, give each other hell, go to bed and start all over again. Today was so NOT that kind of day. My kids were grumpy from the moment they got up. That's annoying. I hate these days. They are especially more difficult when there is only one parent. No one to buffer the crabby patties away and my patience only lasts so long.
So I came home from Mia's chocolate party (delish BTW!) and had told Nikolas to make sure the living room was picked up and there would be a good chance he could play video games with the adults tonight. (AKA...clean up the blankets and shoes and you for sure get to play video games today). Nik, for the most part, did what he was asked. Timmy, had other plans. Timmy wanted to chase Nikolas. In circles. Around my couch. Yeah.
This is mildly entertaining for several reasons. Now please, put on your thinking caps. Nikolas, in the lead, is running, around the couch, jumping over Sissy. He is yelling (not loudly) OH NO CHAAAAAA-LEEEE bit me in a fake British accent as he makes lap after lap. Timmy, who is chasing him, is yelling MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and laughing, as he runs after Nikolas. Nikolas is running faster than Timmy, I mean he is 12, I would *hope he could run faster than a 3 year old. The problem with this is that Nikolas is gaining on Timmy...and then passing him. Which in and of itself is funny. But the funny part comes next.
Picture this:
Timmy: :::huffing and puffing:::I'm gonna get you Nicky!
Nik: :::as he laps Timmy::: hahaha!
Nik and Timmy :::Collision::::
Timmy: Hahaha I got you Nik!
Nik: Nope! :::Sits on Timmy's head::: TEABAG!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?! Do you even know what that is?
Nik: ::running away before I can beat him into next week::: YES!
Me: where did you learn that?
Nik: school
Me: ::::thinking he is SOOOOOO going to Catholic school.::::
So there you have it. An afternoon of teabags. Sigh. Someone remind me why I thought boys were better?
So I came home from Mia's chocolate party (delish BTW!) and had told Nikolas to make sure the living room was picked up and there would be a good chance he could play video games with the adults tonight. (AKA...clean up the blankets and shoes and you for sure get to play video games today). Nik, for the most part, did what he was asked. Timmy, had other plans. Timmy wanted to chase Nikolas. In circles. Around my couch. Yeah.
This is mildly entertaining for several reasons. Now please, put on your thinking caps. Nikolas, in the lead, is running, around the couch, jumping over Sissy. He is yelling (not loudly) OH NO CHAAAAAA-LEEEE bit me in a fake British accent as he makes lap after lap. Timmy, who is chasing him, is yelling MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and laughing, as he runs after Nikolas. Nikolas is running faster than Timmy, I mean he is 12, I would *hope he could run faster than a 3 year old. The problem with this is that Nikolas is gaining on Timmy...and then passing him. Which in and of itself is funny. But the funny part comes next.
Picture this:
Timmy: :::huffing and puffing:::I'm gonna get you Nicky!
Nik: :::as he laps Timmy::: hahaha!
Nik and Timmy :::Collision::::
Timmy: Hahaha I got you Nik!
Nik: Nope! :::Sits on Timmy's head::: TEABAG!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?! Do you even know what that is?
Nik: ::running away before I can beat him into next week::: YES!
Me: where did you learn that?
Nik: school
Me: ::::thinking he is SOOOOOO going to Catholic school.::::
So there you have it. An afternoon of teabags. Sigh. Someone remind me why I thought boys were better?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Oh puppy
Today I was conned into buying a stocking for puppy...I can't currently find a picture of Puppy but for those who don't know. he is Timmy's stuffed dog.
So we went to The Dollar Tree...found a stocking (green, cause that's Puppy's favorite color) with paw prints on it. I told Timmy he could pick 2 presents for Puppy. We got a collar (green with Snoopy on it) cause "Duh mom, all dogs need collars!" and a pack of tennis balls.
We get home and my friend Maggie stopped by. The following is the conversation that we had with Timmy.
Timmy: :::trying to sneak Puppy's tennis balls from the kitchen::::
Me: Timmy, put those back! Those are Puppy's Christmas present. Those are not to play with now.
Timmy: MOM! Puppy needs balls!
Me and Maggs: :::snortsnickercoughhahaha:::
Timmy: MOM! I'm serious, Puppy needs balls. I need Puppy's balls!
Me and Maggs: :::tears rolling down faces:::: hahahah
Timmy: PUPPY LIKES HIS BALLS! HE WANTS TO PLAY WITH HIS BALLS!
We were cracking up! Poor innocent Timmy was looking at us like we were crazy!
And for the record, I heart Puppy's balls too....(they are pink and purple with paw prints on them lol)
So we went to The Dollar Tree...found a stocking (green, cause that's Puppy's favorite color) with paw prints on it. I told Timmy he could pick 2 presents for Puppy. We got a collar (green with Snoopy on it) cause "Duh mom, all dogs need collars!" and a pack of tennis balls.
We get home and my friend Maggie stopped by. The following is the conversation that we had with Timmy.
Timmy: :::trying to sneak Puppy's tennis balls from the kitchen::::
Me: Timmy, put those back! Those are Puppy's Christmas present. Those are not to play with now.
Timmy: MOM! Puppy needs balls!
Me and Maggs: :::snortsnickercoughhahaha:::
Timmy: MOM! I'm serious, Puppy needs balls. I need Puppy's balls!
Me and Maggs: :::tears rolling down faces:::: hahahah
Timmy: PUPPY LIKES HIS BALLS! HE WANTS TO PLAY WITH HIS BALLS!
We were cracking up! Poor innocent Timmy was looking at us like we were crazy!
And for the record, I heart Puppy's balls too....(they are pink and purple with paw prints on them lol)
Scary Santa
Dave's cousin posted this link on her Facebook page last night, where you answer a few questions and you get a video from Santa for free. I thought to myself "Self, you should TOTES do that for Timmy, he would be so stoked". So I did. I uploaded a couple pics for Santa to have in Timmy's file and I answered a few questions. I got the video emailed to me so I could show him this morning.
I open my email, and there is an email from Santa Claus with the subject Video Message for Timmy. This did NOT go over as planned. My imagined scenario went something like this:
Me: Timmy! You have an email from Santa!
Timmy: What does it say? (eyes filled with childhood wonderment)
Me: Let's open it and see!
Timmy: OK! You are the best mommy ever! Daddy should totally buy you those Ugg boots you have been wanting since last Christmas!
Me: (opening the video) You are so sweet Timmy for thinking about mommy and how Daddy should buy me those gray cardi boots for Christmas. That's being a good friend, now lets watch the video!
Timmy: OK
Then we snuggle together to watch the video.
BUT, this is NOT how it went. The actual events went more like this:
Me: Timmy! Oh MY GOSH! I got an email from Santa and it says its a message for Timmy!
Timmy: :::pulls woobie over his head:::: I just wanna watch Handy Manny
Me: Timmy, its a VIDEO from SANTA! Sit up and lets see what he has to say.
Timmy: :::pulls blanket further over head:::: I DON'T WANT TO! I JUST WANNA WATCH HANDY MANNY!
Me: TIMOTHY! Take the blanket off your head and watch the video from Santa or I am going to call him and tell him not to bring you anything AT ALL!
Timmy: You are so mean!
Me: WATCH THE VIDEOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Timmy: Mommy, I swear to God if you tell me to watch the video again I am going to die.
Me: Fine.
Timmy: Good.
Sigh. What exactly have I learned from this? 1. Apparently Timmy does not want visual reminder that Santa is coming soon and knows that he hasn't always been the nicest kid. 2. The "I'm gonna call Santa" threat is starting to not work. I think he is catching on that I just pretend to dial. 3. I am done trying to force Christmas merriment on my kids. I can do it all by myself. I don't need any help (except getting the tree...Tim is still on the hook for that!). and 4. aside from the Cardi boots, a Nintendo DS would be nice. They have them used at GameStop for 70 bucks...
I am curious about something though...for those of you who were "bad kids" when you were little, were you afraid of Santa? I was a perfect angel, so Santa and I were like BFF. I never shied away from a pedophile in a Santa costume at the mall, in the grocery store, where ever. But Timmy is NOT a fan. So I am wondering if its some subconscious knowledge that "Awww crap, I don't always listen, and this dude is gonna call me on it and possibly rat out the things my mom doesn't know I did, so I should be afraid and mom won't make me sit on that creepers lap". And don't get me wrong, Timmy is not a BAD kid. He has his moments, but he IS 3 and full of more energy than one person should be allowed to have. Maybe a better way to put that would be that he misbehaves more than your average bear. Yeah that's it. That's the ticket.
Feel free to pass along some advice if you have or were a Santa hating kid.
Til later...you know you love me...XOXO
I open my email, and there is an email from Santa Claus with the subject Video Message for Timmy. This did NOT go over as planned. My imagined scenario went something like this:
Me: Timmy! You have an email from Santa!
Timmy: What does it say? (eyes filled with childhood wonderment)
Me: Let's open it and see!
Timmy: OK! You are the best mommy ever! Daddy should totally buy you those Ugg boots you have been wanting since last Christmas!
Me: (opening the video) You are so sweet Timmy for thinking about mommy and how Daddy should buy me those gray cardi boots for Christmas. That's being a good friend, now lets watch the video!
Timmy: OK
Then we snuggle together to watch the video.
BUT, this is NOT how it went. The actual events went more like this:
Me: Timmy! Oh MY GOSH! I got an email from Santa and it says its a message for Timmy!
Timmy: :::pulls woobie over his head:::: I just wanna watch Handy Manny
Me: Timmy, its a VIDEO from SANTA! Sit up and lets see what he has to say.
Timmy: :::pulls blanket further over head:::: I DON'T WANT TO! I JUST WANNA WATCH HANDY MANNY!
Me: TIMOTHY! Take the blanket off your head and watch the video from Santa or I am going to call him and tell him not to bring you anything AT ALL!
Timmy: You are so mean!
Me: WATCH THE VIDEOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Timmy: Mommy, I swear to God if you tell me to watch the video again I am going to die.
Me: Fine.
Timmy: Good.
Sigh. What exactly have I learned from this? 1. Apparently Timmy does not want visual reminder that Santa is coming soon and knows that he hasn't always been the nicest kid. 2. The "I'm gonna call Santa" threat is starting to not work. I think he is catching on that I just pretend to dial. 3. I am done trying to force Christmas merriment on my kids. I can do it all by myself. I don't need any help (except getting the tree...Tim is still on the hook for that!). and 4. aside from the Cardi boots, a Nintendo DS would be nice. They have them used at GameStop for 70 bucks...
I am curious about something though...for those of you who were "bad kids" when you were little, were you afraid of Santa? I was a perfect angel, so Santa and I were like BFF. I never shied away from a pedophile in a Santa costume at the mall, in the grocery store, where ever. But Timmy is NOT a fan. So I am wondering if its some subconscious knowledge that "Awww crap, I don't always listen, and this dude is gonna call me on it and possibly rat out the things my mom doesn't know I did, so I should be afraid and mom won't make me sit on that creepers lap". And don't get me wrong, Timmy is not a BAD kid. He has his moments, but he IS 3 and full of more energy than one person should be allowed to have. Maybe a better way to put that would be that he misbehaves more than your average bear. Yeah that's it. That's the ticket.
Feel free to pass along some advice if you have or were a Santa hating kid.
Til later...you know you love me...XOXO
Monday, November 29, 2010
DUH! Didn't you know that?
Timmy is really crabby this morning...I got this gem while he was whining at me:
Timmy: Mommy, I just want you to play the skelefin game...red and green and skelefins
Me: red and green are like Christmas colors right?
Timmy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it's not!
Me: well what is a Christmas color?
Timmy: (eye roll here) white. like the snow. just white. then it means Christmas
Me: ooooh, not red for the holly or green for the Christmas trees?
Timmy: NO! I already told you. Christmas trees are not green, they have colors. Duh. Decorations are colors, like candy.
Me: ok you win.
Timmy: I know.
So Christmas trees are not green and Christmas colors no longer exist...its just white. I'm so glad I have Timmy to keep me straight.
Timmy: Mommy, I just want you to play the skelefin game...red and green and skelefins
Me: red and green are like Christmas colors right?
Timmy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it's not!
Me: well what is a Christmas color?
Timmy: (eye roll here) white. like the snow. just white. then it means Christmas
Me: ooooh, not red for the holly or green for the Christmas trees?
Timmy: NO! I already told you. Christmas trees are not green, they have colors. Duh. Decorations are colors, like candy.
Me: ok you win.
Timmy: I know.
So Christmas trees are not green and Christmas colors no longer exist...its just white. I'm so glad I have Timmy to keep me straight.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thankful Things
Before my kids get up and I change my mind about being thankful for them, I thought I should write a little something about things I am thankful for. And I swear it won't all be mushy and gross.
XOXO everyone, and have a GREAT Thanskgiving!! <3
- I am thankful for Facebook. Never before has it been so easy to spy on people you like, or don't like, and be able to look at people and say "OMG! She got fat!" or "Holy crap! He looks OLD!!" So mad props to Facebook!
- I am thankful for the chick who posted that Chocolate Cake recipe on allrecipes.com. You, ma'am, have changed my life!!! And made me semi famous in the process!
- I am thankful for my mom, sister, brother, my SIL, my BIL, my MIL, my nephews and nieces and my great nephew. I have a pretty kick ass family in case you didn't already know that. We may annoy each other, we may fight, we may sometimes wanna stab the other with a rusty knife in the eyeball, but at the end of the day, we are FAMILY. And I love you all.
- I am thankful for the addition of some AMAZING women in my life this year: Beth, Brittany, Shelley,...you guys are awesome and I can not WAIT to see what this next year brings us.
- I am thankful for little babies...I <3 Brynn Edgar and Savannah Shea
- I am thankful for Teddy, Brad, and Davis. They not only inspired me to start this blog, but they put up with my husband at work and are stellar examples of outstanding men. Well, except Teddy...he is being really childish right now. ;-)
- I am thankful for Rachel and Tim. They are my family. Words can't describe how much I love them. Even when Tim wears a shirt with shiney pearl buttons, I still love him. And even when Rachel is laughing as I try to punish Timmy, I still love her.
- I am thankful for the dollar menu at McDonalds. No brainer here folks!
- I am thankful that the people who work at McDonalds on late poker nights, hopefully don't spit the Super Duper Cokes and Hot N Spicy's I order for the drunkies I am driving home.
- I am thankful for the pee tree. Its a tree...that gets peed on...no further explanation needed.
- I am thankful for Nikolas. He might test my paitience and sometimes act like he has the worst mom around, but in the last year he has really changed into a young man and is showing a more responsible side. And the countdown is ON...only 3 years 298 days until he gets his drivers license and I don't EVER have to drive anyone anywhere AGAIN! WOOOHOO!
- I am thankful for Sydney. Her unconditional love astounds me. She loves without any limits. She grows and surprises me everyday. I am so glad she is my daughter.
- I am thankful for Timmy. Without him, this blog would not be possible. He is the most loving kid even if he is a little trying at times. Our family would not be complete without him.
- I am thankful for Dave. Again, a no brainer here folks...I'll skip the mush until at least our next anniversary =0)
XOXO everyone, and have a GREAT Thanskgiving!! <3
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Not in the morning...
As some of you may or may not know, Timmy and I have a routine at night. We put Syd to bed, and load up the feeding tube bag and get her all situated. Timmy counts the number of formula cans we use. 1, 2, 3, 4. Only we like to count like...well...The Count. One. One can of formula mwahahahaha. Two. Two cans of formula...and so on and so forth.
Tonight as we put Syd to bed, the conversation goes like this:
T: Mommy, I am gonna count. Get the formula ready.
Me: Its ready dude, count.
T: Start pouring!
Me: :::pours formula:::
T: One. One can of formula. Mwaha...waiiiiiiiiiit for it.....waiiiiiit for it....hahaha
Me: :::cracking up::::
I mean really? Wait for it? Sigh. He was so proud of himself too. After I stopped laughing, we finished with her formula, then tucked him into bed. We had a short conversation about tomorrow and what the day looked like, like we do every night.
Me: we have lots to do tomorrow. Its almost Thanksgiving!
T: And we get peanut butter brownies?
Me: yes, and other things...its going to be legen.....wait for it....
T: dary!
Me: YES! How did you know that?
T: TV.
Me: :::laugh::: ok go to bed!
T: (using the scary/zombie/monster voice) Goodnight Mommy!
Me: (using same voice) Night Tuney!
And repeat that about 4 more times.
On days when I question myself, and my parenting, and my everything, its things like this that remind me that I do a DAMN GOOD job raising all three of my kids!
Tonight as we put Syd to bed, the conversation goes like this:
T: Mommy, I am gonna count. Get the formula ready.
Me: Its ready dude, count.
T: Start pouring!
Me: :::pours formula:::
T: One. One can of formula. Mwaha...waiiiiiiiiiit for it.....waiiiiiit for it....hahaha
Me: :::cracking up::::
I mean really? Wait for it? Sigh. He was so proud of himself too. After I stopped laughing, we finished with her formula, then tucked him into bed. We had a short conversation about tomorrow and what the day looked like, like we do every night.
Me: we have lots to do tomorrow. Its almost Thanksgiving!
T: And we get peanut butter brownies?
Me: yes, and other things...its going to be legen.....wait for it....
T: dary!
Me: YES! How did you know that?
T: TV.
Me: :::laugh::: ok go to bed!
T: (using the scary/zombie/monster voice) Goodnight Mommy!
Me: (using same voice) Night Tuney!
And repeat that about 4 more times.
On days when I question myself, and my parenting, and my everything, its things like this that remind me that I do a DAMN GOOD job raising all three of my kids!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
In the Bathroom
So picture this...I am in the bathroom straightening my hair. Timmy comes down and asks what I am doing. The rest of the convo proceeds like this:
Me: Just fixing my hair.
Timmy: Oh ok..
He backs out of the bathroom slowly...pulling the door shut.
Me: Timmy, leave the door open. I don't need it shut!
Timmy: I have to shut it and lock the door
Me: NO!! Leave it open!
Timmy: I have to close it and lock it so you don't see when I take your phone
Me: ::::deep sigh:::::
Timmy pulls the door shut, and says "Yes!" with what I can only imagine was a fist pump and I hear him grab my phone and run upstairs.
Oh Timmy...will you ever learn not to tattle on yourself...... I realllllllllly hope not!
Me: Just fixing my hair.
Timmy: Oh ok..
He backs out of the bathroom slowly...pulling the door shut.
Me: Timmy, leave the door open. I don't need it shut!
Timmy: I have to shut it and lock the door
Me: NO!! Leave it open!
Timmy: I have to close it and lock it so you don't see when I take your phone
Me: ::::deep sigh:::::
Timmy pulls the door shut, and says "Yes!" with what I can only imagine was a fist pump and I hear him grab my phone and run upstairs.
Oh Timmy...will you ever learn not to tattle on yourself...... I realllllllllly hope not!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Refresh Your Memory...
Figured I'd go back a little ways and c&p my Facebook posts...all in one ginormous post! Enjoy!
Timmy: Mommy me and Puppy are on a secret mission
Timmy: Mommy are you watching your show?
me: My name is Tuna Balloona
Timmy: Mom, I think we need a trampoline.
Nik: Timmy I love you.
Timmy: mommy who changes the lights to red and green?
me: Timmy if you rip up that Toy Book, how is Santa going to know what you want for Christmas?
me: Timmy you're my best little boy!
11-18
Timmy: Mommy me and Puppy are on a secret mission
Me: Really?
Timmy: Yes a secret mission near your blanket by the couch.
Me: Well now its not a secret anymore...
Timmy: Oh.
...
FAIL!
11-17
Timmy: Mommy are you watching your show?
Me: yes, I am folding laundry and I am tired of Dora and her lame excuse for parents.
Timmy: I want cartoons. I am done with your phone.
Me: NO!
Timmy: *runs screaming up the stairs* YOU ARE SO MEAN!!
Puppy: YEAH SHE... IS!
Timmy: Our mom is so mean puppy!
Puppy: Maybe she'll take us to McDonalds and get us Sprite.
11-16
me: My name is Tuna Balloona
Timmy: No! *I'M* The Tuna. You are just plain Mommy. Plain Mommy. NOT Mommy Balloona! Just Mommy.
11-15
Timmy: Mom, I think we need a trampoline.
Me: Why?
Timmy: then we could use it to jump up and reach the fruit snacks.
Me: Seriously?
Timmy: Yes. The chairs make too much noise.
11-12
nothing like waking up to Timmy with his stuffed animals lined up against the couch and he is yelling at them: "You guys are going DOWN!"...i love my life I swear
11-9
Nik: Timmy I love you.
Timmy: Love you Nik.
Nik: Love you mom. Me: Love you Nik.
Nik: I LOVE YOU SISSY!
Syd:........
Timmy: She says she hates you.
My kids rule.
11-8
Timmy: mommy who changes the lights to red and green?
Me: God.
Timmy: Ohhhhhh
Rachel: Bwahahhahaha snort hahahahaha
11-01
me: Timmy if you rip up that Toy Book, how is Santa going to know what you want for Christmas?
Timmy: he knows the words in my mouth (eyeroll)
Psh...smartass...
10-29
FYI it is NOT fun to be greeted by a naked 3 year old, who managed to get into a bag of lollipop and is completely WIRED, when your alarm goes off at 6 am.
10-27
me: Timmy you're my best little boy!
Timmy: and mommy I'm your best girl.
Me: No Timmy, *I'm* your best girl.
Timmy: THATS WHAT I SAID! I'm your best girl.
Sigh...i tried...
ok--stopping here. I am tired and ready to watch TV LOL Night!
First one!
Under the advice from some of the worlds most amazing men, I decided that I should start a blog. I figured, what the hell? Its not like I have anything better to do with my life. I mean making ass prints on the couch is hard and demanding work, but sometimes I need to just get up off the couch and play on the computer. So thats where this comes in. I've been told that I am mildly amusing at times ( I think its more like 95% of the time and I am SURE that Rachel will agree) but I do know that there is NO ONE in this universe as funny as my little Tuna Boat.
Timmy is a funny ass kid. Like f'real f'real funny. The stuff that comes outta his mouth has my friends and I rolling everyday. I don't remember that either of the other 2 kids were this funny...although Nikolas was probably concentrating really hard at keeping his large head up and Sydney, well I am still waiting for the day she walks up to me and is all "PSYCH! You effers talk too much, I could never get a word in edgewise". Or maybe its just that I have a better memory...hahahahahahahahahah, no. Its just that he is FUNNY!.
So for those that look forward to reading the daily Mommy and Timmy conversations on Facebook, I present them here, in blog format, to treasure and keep for all of posterity.
Timmy is a funny ass kid. Like f'real f'real funny. The stuff that comes outta his mouth has my friends and I rolling everyday. I don't remember that either of the other 2 kids were this funny...although Nikolas was probably concentrating really hard at keeping his large head up and Sydney, well I am still waiting for the day she walks up to me and is all "PSYCH! You effers talk too much, I could never get a word in edgewise". Or maybe its just that I have a better memory...hahahahahahahahahah, no. Its just that he is FUNNY!.
So for those that look forward to reading the daily Mommy and Timmy conversations on Facebook, I present them here, in blog format, to treasure and keep for all of posterity.
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