Thursday, December 9, 2010

Needing an honest opinion

A slight departure this morning as I need a truthful, honest opinion.  This small thing, might not even come to pass, BUT if it does, I want to know what the appropriate response should be, in your humble (or not so humble) opinions.

Every year, the local Rotary Club puts on a Christmas party, complete with Santa and presents, for Sydney's class.  Syd is in what is called a "Lifeskills" class.  The focus is not so much on the academic, but rather more social aspects.  All the the students in her class are varying in degrees of disabilities.  There are kids with SEVERE autism, Downs Syndrome, severe learning disabilities, non walkers, non talkers, kids that are small, kids that are tall, blind, name it, I am sure one of the kids has it.  (Not being a smartass, I swear, it just is what it is, her class is for multiple handicaps).  The Rotary Club asks the teacher to send home a note to the parents asking what the child would like for Christmas.  This year, the note said that the present would be in the $20-25.00 price range and would likely be purchased specifically at Target.

Last year, I filled out the form about what Sydney would like.  It included inexpensive items(in my opinion), like a Scooby Doo movie, a Spongebob Movie, High School Musical  DVD or perhaps a Barbie Doll.  When I went into that class that day, Sydney's teachers told me to look at how cute her present was.  I was looking around the room and saw one little girl playing with a Dore the Explorer Doll with accessories and she talked, a little boy playing with a Leap Frog toy, another boy with a remote start train set, a girl with a HUGE crayola crayon set(crayons, markers, paints etc) and a gigantic coloring pad.  I was really excited that Sydney, for once, was gonna get something SUPER cool and her brothers would be jealous.  I got to her desk and there were 2 hand puppets.  For the kid with no control over her hands.  Puppets.  Yes, they were soft.  And yes it was a gift.  But I was a little upset when I looked around.  All the other kids had these GREAT awesome fantastic toys and Syd got puppets.  (Mind you she was 8, not 2)

I fully get that its hard to buy toys for her.  I do.  Trust me.  I am the ones that buys them for her.  But why ask me for a list of things she might want if she isn't going to get them.  And I understand for me to be upset about something that was a gift is a little (or a lot) uhhh...Grinchy.  I will only defend myself by saying that I just want my kid to be treated like other kids.  I want her to have what my friends kids have.  I don't care that she doesn't play with things (as is evidenced by the dolls she has had since her first Christmas that are still mint condition in the boxes in her closet).  I just want her to be treated fairly.

So with all that being said, I come to today's dilemma/problem/imaginary situation.  Today is the Rotary party.  The kids are going to the Cheyenne Mountain Resort.  Parents are not invited, cause I think there is more than one school participating and they don't want the chaos of kids, parents, presents.  I filled out her permission slip/present request about a month ago.  I specifically asked for 3 things, Ramona and Beezus DVD, something like this or like this (in case you can't look a Project Runway Tshirt Designer kit or a Pedicure Salon). 

I have been a little worried for the last couple weeks.  What if Syd comes home with some bullshit puppets again?  What if they get her something they feel more appropriate for her?  What then?  Do I just accept the gift gracefully and keep my mouth shut?  Do I send the gift back to the Rotary Club and say "Thanks but no thanks, you didn't get what my daughter requested"? Do I make a big scene and call bullshit on whomever is changing the list that *I* as her MOTHER requested for MY child?  Do I simply refuse to let her attend next year?

I obviously know, that sometimes they can't get EXACTLY what you request.  A reasonable substitution would be fine.  Something similar.  NOT a baby toy and not puppets.  And I know, that sending the gift back is really awful.  And making a scene is awful.  I really wouldn't do either of those things, realistically.  But I feel like I need to stand up for my kid.  No one else does, that's MY job as her mother.  If she were a "normal" or "regular" kid, I would feel the same way, if she was getting crapped on while everyone else was living the high life, you are damn straight I would tell somebody. 

This might all not be an issue, if she comes home today with a cool toy.  I just feel like I need to be prepared in what my response would/could/should be.  I don't want to be upset like I was last year.

So tell me friends, what would you do??


  1. I don't know how much help I will be given that I do not hold back and often make my kids life miserable by speaking my mind and staying "up in his business" at school. LOL BUT, If it is not an appropriate gift, I prob. wouldnt sent it back but would def. ask them why they ask for suggestions/ideas but don't take them to heart. Explain that you know what she enjoys and responds to and wouldnt ask for things that wouldn't benefit her. If it is something she wont at all benefit from , ie puppets (are you f'in kidding me!) I would give it back and explain that someone else may benefit from it and explain why she can't. But I also email Chris' middle school teachers alot and frequently leave nasty messages and emails for his inept and sucky Bball coach! I am curious to see what happens?

    Love you,

  2. LOL @ Kim. Me too. I honestly think that if you are unhappy again with the gift and it is inappropriate for Syd, then I definitely would say something. Do you know if it is an "Angel" type situation? Like all of the members take a child and get their gift? The only reason I say that is maybe that's why he gift was so inadequate compared to the other kids. As in the person who got Syd was lazy and didn't care to do it or maybe just a nasty mean old lady. If it's not that way and a few people collect the money and go shopping, then I probably would give it back. Isa received dish towels from the FRG one time while all the other kids had toys and such. I definitely did return them and give the FRG leader a piece of my mind!

    <3 Kacie

  3. Wow... Puppets? I'd have been upset, too. I would not send them back or make a huge scene, but what I WOULD do is, if the gift isn't adequate or similar to what the other kids got, then I would politely hand the gift back, telling them that you don't feel that Syd is treated up to par with how the rest of the class is, and thanks anyways...and that she won't be attending next year. I'm extremely non-confrontational though, so keep that in mind! And if they screw up her gift, beat them up! LOL. Toys for Tots donated to Kaelynn and Elijah's schools. There are a few good things, and quite a few books, thankfully!

  4. I am non-confrontational, too, and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think I would also politely ask why her gift isn't equal to those of the other kids, and doesn't take into account her specific limitations. Maybe the people who buy the gifts don't get a list of specific disabilities. Whatever the case, it is a charitable thing they are doing and although there semms to be some negligence in how the gifts are given, their intentions are probably good.

  5. Thanks guys! Syd DID get the movie. I guess I worried for nothing. =0/

  6. Not worried for nothing. Time and time again Syd gets slighted and she is lucky to have a mother that loves her so much that she worries about these kinds of things. You're awesome and so is she!


From Laura

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