Thursday, December 23, 2010

2, 2, 2 times the fun!

Its been a hot minute, since I have had anything to type.  But I got a few gems stored up.  Let's get started, shall we?

Timmy to me at dinner about a week ago: Mom, when is daddy coming home?
Timmy: cause if he doesn't come home soon, we should just get a new dad...

We've also been trying to get Timmy to count down to Christmas and get excited.  So last night he explained to Dave how Christmas was gonna go down.

Timmy: there is this many days left (holds up 3 fingers) then there is this many (holds up 2 fingers) then this many (holds up 1) THENNNNNNNNNNNNN when I wake up there is NONE.
Dave: and what does that mean?
Timmy: (in a singsong voice) it means that Sannnnnnnnnnnttttttaaaaaaaaa came!  He comes in the chimney, puts presents under the tree then goes back in the chimney.
Dave: then what?
Timmy: then when I wake uppppppp, I come downstairs and see the presents then I wake you up.
Me: what are you going to say?
Timmy: (eye roll) WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh
Timmy: then I will wake up Nicky and Sissy, and then we will open our presents.  And Santa will leave presents for me and Sissy and Nicky and I think I am going to get this many (holds up 5 fingers) and he is going to leave candy in my stocking and presents for puppy in his stocking and Sissy doesn't get candy and...
Dave: do I get candy?
Timmy: (exasperated sigh) NO!  You are too old and not a kid. Only kids get candy. (deep breath) there's gonna be lots of presennnnnntttttttsssssss....I can't wait.

And since today is baking/cooking day, I am sure there will be a few more gems.  Hope everyone is having a magical few days before Christmas x0x0x

Monday, December 13, 2010

Just some pictures

I figured I owed some apologies to those reading on a phone.  Here are a few that I have been promising.

My kiddies waiting to go into the Christmas Bazaar

The stocking I was conned into buying for Puppy

The Charlie Brown Christmas tree that Tim and Nik brought me home

the one I made them go get from a tree lot after seeing the Charlie Brown one
Timmy was helping decorate cookies

shakey shakey shakey on the cookies

annnnnnd now he is drinking the sugar...sigh

and the sprinkles too

that's a LOT of sprinkles
So those are some of the pics from the last couple days.  And in true Timmy fashion, he licked the frosting off all the cookies then threw them away.  Maybe next year....

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Tim/Timmy Paradox

Tim and Rachel came over today.  Rach was helping me bake and Tim went to cut down our Christmas tree (pictures to follow).  Timmy was playing with Tim and started throwing things so Tim said no more playing, cause Timmy wasn't listening to the rules.  So the following is the conversation between, Tim and Timmy:

Timmy: Can I play your phone?
Tim: No.
Timmy: Why? I just want to play your phone.
Tim: No.  You know why?
Timmy: That's cause you're Idiot Boy.
Tim: (oblivious to what Timmy just said) Its cause you don't follow the rules.
Rachel and I: Hahahahahasnorthahahaha
Tim: what?  what did he say?

Yeah, so next time you see Tim...Idiot Boy is his new name.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

some evening snippets

Today consisted of going to the Dollar store and watching Shrek 4.  I got these 2 bits today...

Leaving for the Dollar Store:

Timmy: I want to go to the store and get french fries and chocolate.
Nikolas: We aren't going to McDonalds, stop asking or she definitely won't take us.
Timmy: Nicky.  I'm hungry. Do you *think that I have chocolate milk in my belly.  NO!.  Do you you think I have french fries in my belly?  NO.  So I need those in my belly Nicky or I swear to GOD I will kill you.

While watching Shrek:

Timmy: Mommy, if you put your fingers in your nose you can make a noise like Shrek.  See....

I am sure there will be more pictures and funny stuff tomorrow as I am going to attempt to teach Timothy how to decorate cookies while Nikolas goes with Tim to cut down our Christmas tree.

Wow, really?

This morning was awesome.  Timmy came down and we cuddled on the couch and watch The Polar Express.  During the movie, he got up to go to the bathroom.  He came back out with no clothes on just underwear, inside out and backwards.

Me: Why are you wearing that?
Timmy: I am not allowed to be naked mom, you said!
Me: Ok but your underwear is backwards.  You have to put it on with the wiener slot in the front.
Timmy: there is more room for my nutsack this way.

Sigh.  I thought we were over nutsacks. And seriously?  3 and bragging about the size of his package? Lord help me....

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Needing an honest opinion

A slight departure this morning as I need a truthful, honest opinion.  This small thing, might not even come to pass, BUT if it does, I want to know what the appropriate response should be, in your humble (or not so humble) opinions.

Every year, the local Rotary Club puts on a Christmas party, complete with Santa and presents, for Sydney's class.  Syd is in what is called a "Lifeskills" class.  The focus is not so much on the academic, but rather more social aspects.  All the the students in her class are varying in degrees of disabilities.  There are kids with SEVERE autism, Downs Syndrome, severe learning disabilities, non walkers, non talkers, kids that are small, kids that are tall, blind, name it, I am sure one of the kids has it.  (Not being a smartass, I swear, it just is what it is, her class is for multiple handicaps).  The Rotary Club asks the teacher to send home a note to the parents asking what the child would like for Christmas.  This year, the note said that the present would be in the $20-25.00 price range and would likely be purchased specifically at Target.

Last year, I filled out the form about what Sydney would like.  It included inexpensive items(in my opinion), like a Scooby Doo movie, a Spongebob Movie, High School Musical  DVD or perhaps a Barbie Doll.  When I went into that class that day, Sydney's teachers told me to look at how cute her present was.  I was looking around the room and saw one little girl playing with a Dore the Explorer Doll with accessories and she talked, a little boy playing with a Leap Frog toy, another boy with a remote start train set, a girl with a HUGE crayola crayon set(crayons, markers, paints etc) and a gigantic coloring pad.  I was really excited that Sydney, for once, was gonna get something SUPER cool and her brothers would be jealous.  I got to her desk and there were 2 hand puppets.  For the kid with no control over her hands.  Puppets.  Yes, they were soft.  And yes it was a gift.  But I was a little upset when I looked around.  All the other kids had these GREAT awesome fantastic toys and Syd got puppets.  (Mind you she was 8, not 2)

I fully get that its hard to buy toys for her.  I do.  Trust me.  I am the ones that buys them for her.  But why ask me for a list of things she might want if she isn't going to get them.  And I understand for me to be upset about something that was a gift is a little (or a lot) uhhh...Grinchy.  I will only defend myself by saying that I just want my kid to be treated like other kids.  I want her to have what my friends kids have.  I don't care that she doesn't play with things (as is evidenced by the dolls she has had since her first Christmas that are still mint condition in the boxes in her closet).  I just want her to be treated fairly.

So with all that being said, I come to today's dilemma/problem/imaginary situation.  Today is the Rotary party.  The kids are going to the Cheyenne Mountain Resort.  Parents are not invited, cause I think there is more than one school participating and they don't want the chaos of kids, parents, presents.  I filled out her permission slip/present request about a month ago.  I specifically asked for 3 things, Ramona and Beezus DVD, something like this or like this (in case you can't look a Project Runway Tshirt Designer kit or a Pedicure Salon). 

I have been a little worried for the last couple weeks.  What if Syd comes home with some bullshit puppets again?  What if they get her something they feel more appropriate for her?  What then?  Do I just accept the gift gracefully and keep my mouth shut?  Do I send the gift back to the Rotary Club and say "Thanks but no thanks, you didn't get what my daughter requested"? Do I make a big scene and call bullshit on whomever is changing the list that *I* as her MOTHER requested for MY child?  Do I simply refuse to let her attend next year?

I obviously know, that sometimes they can't get EXACTLY what you request.  A reasonable substitution would be fine.  Something similar.  NOT a baby toy and not puppets.  And I know, that sending the gift back is really awful.  And making a scene is awful.  I really wouldn't do either of those things, realistically.  But I feel like I need to stand up for my kid.  No one else does, that's MY job as her mother.  If she were a "normal" or "regular" kid, I would feel the same way, if she was getting crapped on while everyone else was living the high life, you are damn straight I would tell somebody. 

This might all not be an issue, if she comes home today with a cool toy.  I just feel like I need to be prepared in what my response would/could/should be.  I don't want to be upset like I was last year.

So tell me friends, what would you do??

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

First post from my phone!! Woohoo!!!

Nik was just watching 1000 Ways to Die or some such crap. There was a story of a girl who got subpar breast implants and when she went on a plane trip to L.A., her implants grew bigger and bigger until they exploded all over the plane. And she died.

Timmy turns to me and says "mommy don't ever get bigger boobies. Then they grow grow grow and BAM then they get your guts all over the place. Thats really gross. Mommy that was GROSS."

Lol so please don't get implants. Timmy doesn't want you to die...

Monday, December 6, 2010

Quick one after dinner

Oh my lord, I am trying to type this with tears in my eyes.  I swear I can't stop laughing. 

We just ate dinner (pancakes and sausage for those who are nosy) and Timmy's hands were sticky, so he took a bath right away after dinner.  He came down just a second ago, wrapped up in a towel and says "Mommy, I am ready for jammies"  So I am drying him off and jammie-ing him up and he farted SO LOUD  and so long and I started to laugh and Timmy says "Wow!  That one sounded like a motorcycle!"  OMG, bwahahahahahahaha I swear I am DYING!  He keeps looking at me and saying things like "It was just a motorcycle fart mommy" and shrugging his shoulders.  I asked him if it made his buttcheeks rumble and he says "YES!  It was really fast mom!" LOL 

Oh lordy, thank you Timmy.  Motorcycle farts...bwahahahahaha

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Oh my children

Most days are pleasant in the Jo household.  We wake up, watch some TV, eat a little food, give each other hell, go to bed and start all over again.  Today was so NOT that kind of day.  My kids were grumpy from the moment they got up.  That's annoying.  I hate these days.  They are especially more difficult when there is only one parent.  No one to buffer the crabby patties away and my patience only lasts so long.

So I came home from Mia's chocolate party (delish BTW!) and had told Nikolas to make sure the living room was picked up and there would be a good chance he could play video games with the adults tonight.  (AKA...clean up the blankets and shoes and you for sure get to play video games today).  Nik, for the most part, did what he was asked.  Timmy, had other plans.  Timmy wanted to chase Nikolas.  In circles.  Around my couch.  Yeah.

This is mildly entertaining for several reasons.  Now please, put on your thinking caps.  Nikolas, in the lead, is running, around the couch, jumping over Sissy.  He is yelling (not loudly) OH NO CHAAAAAA-LEEEE bit me in a fake British accent as he makes lap after lap.  Timmy, who is chasing him, is yelling MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and laughing, as he runs after Nikolas.  Nikolas is running faster than Timmy, I mean he is 12, I would *hope he could run faster than a 3 year old.  The problem with this is that Nikolas is gaining on Timmy...and then passing him.  Which in and of itself is funny.  But the funny part comes next.

Picture this:

Timmy: :::huffing and puffing:::I'm gonna get you Nicky!
Nik: :::as he laps Timmy::: hahaha!
Nik and Timmy :::Collision::::
Timmy:  Hahaha I got you Nik!
Nik:  Nope! :::Sits on Timmy's head:::  TEABAG!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?!  Do you even know what that is?
Nik: ::running away before I can beat him into next week::: YES!
Me: where did you learn that?
Nik: school
Me: ::::thinking he is SOOOOOO going to Catholic school.::::

So there you have it.  An afternoon of teabags.  Sigh.  Someone remind me why I thought boys were better?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Oh puppy

Today I was conned into buying a stocking for puppy...I can't currently find a picture of Puppy but for those who don't know. he is Timmy's stuffed dog.

So we went to The Dollar Tree...found a stocking (green, cause that's Puppy's favorite color) with paw prints on it.  I told Timmy he could pick 2 presents for Puppy.  We got a collar  (green with Snoopy on it) cause "Duh mom, all dogs need collars!" and a pack of tennis balls.

We get home and my friend Maggie stopped by.  The following is the conversation that we had with Timmy.

Timmy: :::trying to sneak Puppy's tennis balls from the kitchen::::
Me: Timmy, put those back!  Those are Puppy's Christmas present.  Those are not to play with now.
Timmy: MOM!  Puppy needs balls!
Me and Maggs: :::snortsnickercoughhahaha:::
Timmy: MOM!  I'm serious, Puppy needs balls.  I need Puppy's balls!
Me and Maggs: :::tears rolling down faces:::: hahahah

We were cracking up!  Poor innocent Timmy was looking at us like we were crazy! 

And for the record, I heart Puppy's balls too....(they are pink and purple with paw prints on them lol)

Scary Santa

Dave's cousin posted this link on her Facebook page last night, where you answer a few questions and you get a video from Santa for free.  I thought to myself "Self, you should TOTES do that for Timmy, he would be so stoked".  So I did.  I uploaded a couple pics for Santa to have in Timmy's file and I answered a few questions.  I got the video emailed to me so I could show him this morning.

I open my email, and there is an email from Santa Claus with the subject Video Message for Timmy.  This did NOT go over as planned. My imagined scenario went something like this:

Me: Timmy!  You have an email from Santa!
Timmy: What does it say? (eyes filled with childhood wonderment)
Me: Let's open it and see!
Timmy: OK!  You are the best mommy ever!  Daddy should totally buy you those Ugg boots you have been wanting since last Christmas!
Me: (opening the video) You are so sweet Timmy for thinking about mommy and how Daddy should buy me those gray cardi boots for Christmas.  That's being a good friend, now lets watch the video!
Timmy: OK

Then we snuggle together to watch the video.

BUT, this is NOT how it went.  The actual events went more like this:

Me: Timmy!  Oh MY GOSH! I got an email from Santa and it says its a message for Timmy!
Timmy: :::pulls woobie over his head:::: I just wanna watch Handy Manny
Me: Timmy, its a VIDEO from SANTA!  Sit up and lets see what he has to say.
Timmy: :::pulls blanket further over head:::: I DON'T WANT TO!  I JUST WANNA WATCH HANDY MANNY!
Me: TIMOTHY!  Take the blanket off your head and watch the video from Santa or I am going to call him and tell him not to bring you anything AT ALL!
Timmy: You are so mean!
Timmy: Mommy, I swear to God if you tell me to watch the video again I am going to die.
Me: Fine.
Timmy: Good.

Sigh.  What exactly have I learned from this?  1. Apparently Timmy does not want visual reminder that Santa is coming soon and knows that he hasn't always been the nicest kid. 2. The "I'm gonna call Santa" threat is starting to not work. I think he is catching on that I just pretend to dial. 3. I am done trying to force Christmas merriment on my kids.  I can do it all by myself.  I don't need any help (except getting the tree...Tim is still on the hook for that!).  and 4. aside from the Cardi boots, a Nintendo DS would be nice.  They have them used at GameStop for 70 bucks...

 I am curious about something though...for those of you who were "bad kids" when you were little, were you afraid of Santa?  I was a perfect angel, so Santa and I were like BFF.  I never shied away from a pedophile in a Santa costume at the mall, in the grocery store, where ever.  But Timmy is NOT a fan.  So I am wondering if its some subconscious knowledge that "Awww crap, I don't always listen, and this dude is gonna call me on it and possibly rat out the things my mom doesn't know I did, so I should be afraid and mom won't make me sit on that creepers lap".  And don't get me wrong, Timmy is not a BAD kid.  He has his moments, but he IS 3 and full of more energy than one person should be allowed to have.  Maybe a better way to put that would be that he misbehaves more than your average bear.  Yeah that's it.  That's the ticket.

Feel free to pass along some advice if you have or were a Santa hating kid. 

Til know you love me...XOXO

From Laura

Just a note to thank you for reading and laughing with me at the ones who make my life what it is!