Monday, November 29, 2010

DUH! Didn't you know that?

Timmy is really crabby this morning...I got this gem while he was whining at me:

Timmy: Mommy, I just want you to play the skelefin and green and skelefins
Me: red and green are like Christmas colors right?
Timmy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it's not!
Me: well what is a Christmas color?
Timmy: (eye roll here) white.  like the snow. just white.  then it means Christmas
Me: ooooh, not red for the holly or green for the Christmas trees?
Timmy: NO!  I already told you. Christmas trees are not green, they have colors.  Duh.  Decorations are colors, like candy.
Me: ok you win.
Timmy: I know.

So Christmas trees are not green and Christmas colors no longer exist...its just white.  I'm so glad I have Timmy to keep me straight.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thankful Things

Before my kids get up and I change my mind about being thankful for them, I thought I should write a little something about things I am thankful for.  And I swear it won't all be mushy and gross.

  • I am thankful for Facebook.  Never before has it been so easy to spy on people you like, or don't like, and be able to look at people and say "OMG!  She got fat!" or "Holy crap! He looks OLD!!" So mad props to Facebook!
  • I am thankful for the chick who posted that Chocolate Cake recipe on  You, ma'am, have changed my life!!! And made me semi famous in the process!
  • I am thankful for my mom, sister, brother, my SIL, my BIL, my MIL, my nephews and nieces and my great nephew.  I have a pretty kick ass family in case you didn't already know that.  We may annoy each other, we may fight, we may sometimes wanna stab the other with a rusty knife in the eyeball, but at the end of the day, we are FAMILY.  And I love you all.
  • I am thankful for the addition of some AMAZING women in my life this year: Beth, Brittany, Shelley, guys are awesome and I can not WAIT to see what this next year brings us.
  • I am thankful for little babies...I <3 Brynn Edgar and Savannah Shea
  • I am thankful for Teddy, Brad, and Davis.  They not only inspired me to start this blog, but they put up with my husband at work and are stellar examples of outstanding men.  Well, except Teddy...he is being really childish right now. ;-)
  • I am thankful for Rachel and Tim.  They are my family. Words can't describe how much I love them. Even when Tim wears a shirt with shiney pearl buttons, I still love him.  And even when Rachel is laughing as I try to punish Timmy, I still love her.
  • I am thankful for the dollar menu at McDonalds.  No brainer here folks!
  • I am thankful that the people who work at McDonalds on late poker nights, hopefully don't spit the Super Duper Cokes and Hot N Spicy's I order for the drunkies I am driving home.
  • I am thankful for the pee tree.  Its a tree...that gets peed further explanation needed.
  • I am thankful for Nikolas.  He might test my paitience and sometimes act like he has the worst mom around, but in the last year he has really changed into a young man and is showing a more responsible side.  And the countdown is ON...only 3 years 298 days until he gets his drivers license and I don't EVER have to drive anyone anywhere AGAIN!  WOOOHOO!
  • I am thankful for Sydney.  Her unconditional love astounds me.  She loves without any limits.  She grows and surprises me everyday.  I am so glad she is my daughter.
  • I am thankful for Timmy.  Without him, this blog would not be possible.  He is the most loving kid even if he is a little trying at times.  Our family would not be complete without him.
  • I am thankful for Dave. Again, a no brainer here folks...I'll skip the mush until at least our next anniversary =0)
So thats my list of some of the things I am thankful for.  I am SURE there are more.  And as this day progresses, I am sure to add new memories to my mental list for next year lol.  And please know that even if I did not mention you by name, it doesn't mean I don't love you.  It just means I am old and I forget shit.

XOXO everyone, and have a GREAT Thanskgiving!! <3

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not in the morning...

As some of you may or may not know, Timmy and I have a routine at night.  We put Syd to bed, and load up the feeding tube bag and get her all situated.  Timmy counts the number of formula cans we use. 1, 2, 3, 4.  Only we like to count like...well...The Count.  One.  One can of formula mwahahahaha.  Two.  Two cans of formula...and so on and so forth.

Tonight as we put Syd to bed, the conversation goes like this:

T: Mommy, I am gonna count.  Get the formula ready.
Me: Its ready dude, count.
T: Start pouring!
Me: :::pours formula:::
T: One.  One can of formula. Mwaha...waiiiiiiiiiit for it.....waiiiiiit for it....hahaha
Me: :::cracking up::::

I mean really?  Wait for it? Sigh.  He was so proud of himself too.  After I stopped laughing, we finished with her formula, then tucked him into bed.  We had a short conversation about tomorrow and what the day looked like, like we do every night. 

Me: we have lots to do tomorrow.  Its almost Thanksgiving!
T: And we get peanut butter brownies?
Me: yes, and other things...its going to be legen.....wait for it....
T: dary!
Me: YES!  How did you know that? 
T: TV.
Me:  :::laugh::: ok go to bed!
T: (using the scary/zombie/monster voice) Goodnight Mommy!
Me: (using same voice) Night Tuney!

And repeat that about 4 more times.

On days when I question myself, and my parenting, and my everything, its things like this that remind me that I do a DAMN GOOD job raising all three of my kids!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

In the Bathroom

So picture this...I am in the bathroom straightening my hair.  Timmy comes down and asks what I am doing.  The rest of the convo proceeds like this:

Me: Just fixing my hair.
Timmy: Oh ok..

He backs out of the bathroom slowly...pulling the door shut.

Me: Timmy, leave the door open.  I don't need it shut!
Timmy: I have to shut it and lock the door
Me: NO!! Leave it open!
Timmy: I have to close it and lock it so you don't see when I take your phone
Me:  ::::deep sigh:::::

Timmy pulls the door shut, and says "Yes!" with what I can only imagine was a fist pump and I hear him grab my phone and run upstairs.

Oh Timmy...will you ever learn not to tattle on yourself...... I realllllllllly hope not!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Refresh Your Memory...

Figured I'd go back a little ways and c&p my Facebook posts...all in one ginormous post!  Enjoy!


Timmy: Mommy me and Puppy are on a secret mission
Me: Really?
Timmy: Yes a secret mission near your blanket by the couch.
Me: Well now its not a secret anymore...
Timmy: Oh.


Timmy: Mommy are you watching your show?
Me: yes, I am folding laundry and I am tired of Dora and her lame excuse for parents.
Timmy: I want cartoons. I am done with your phone.
Me: NO!
Timmy: *runs screaming up the stairs* YOU ARE SO MEAN!!
Puppy: YEAH SHE... IS!
Timmy: Our mom is so mean puppy!
Puppy: Maybe she'll take us to McDonalds and get us Sprite.


me: My name is Tuna Balloona
Timmy: No! *I'M* The Tuna. You are just plain Mommy. Plain Mommy. NOT Mommy Balloona! Just Mommy.


Timmy: Mom, I think we need a trampoline.
Me: Why?
Timmy: then we could use it to jump up and reach the fruit snacks.
Me: Seriously?
Timmy: Yes. The chairs make too much noise.


nothing like waking up to Timmy with his stuffed animals lined up against the couch and he is yelling at them: "You guys are going DOWN!"...i love my life I swear


Nik: Timmy I love you.
Timmy: Love you Nik.
Nik: Love you mom. Me: Love you Nik.
Timmy: She says she hates you.

My kids rule.


Timmy: mommy who changes the lights to red and green?
Me: God.
Timmy: Ohhhhhh
Rachel: Bwahahhahaha snort hahahahaha


me: Timmy if you rip up that Toy Book, how is Santa going to know what you want for Christmas?
Timmy: he knows the words in my mouth (eyeroll)



FYI it is NOT fun to be greeted by a naked 3 year old, who managed to get into a bag of lollipop and is completely WIRED, when your alarm goes off at 6 am.


me: Timmy you're my best little boy!
Timmy: and mommy I'm your best girl.
Me: No Timmy, *I'm* your best girl.
Timmy: THATS WHAT I SAID! I'm your best girl. 

Sigh...i tried...


ok--stopping here.  I am tired and ready to watch TV  LOL  Night!

First one!

Under the advice from some of the worlds most amazing men, I decided that I should start a blog.  I figured, what the hell?  Its not like I have anything better to do with my life.  I mean making ass prints on the couch is hard and demanding work, but sometimes I need to just get up off the couch and play on the computer.  So thats where this comes in.  I've been told that I am mildly amusing at times ( I think its more like 95% of the time and I am SURE that Rachel will agree) but I do know that there is NO ONE in this universe as funny as my little Tuna Boat.

Timmy is a funny ass kid.  Like f'real f'real funny.  The stuff that comes outta his mouth has my friends and I rolling everyday.  I don't remember that either of the other 2 kids were this funny...although Nikolas was probably concentrating really hard at keeping his large head up and Sydney, well I am still waiting for the day she walks up to me and is all "PSYCH!  You effers talk too much, I could never get a word in edgewise".  Or maybe its just that I have a better memory...hahahahahahahahahah, no.  Its just that he is FUNNY!. 

So for those that look forward to reading the daily Mommy and Timmy conversations on Facebook, I present them here, in blog format, to treasure and keep for all of posterity.

From Laura

Just a note to thank you for reading and laughing with me at the ones who make my life what it is!