Unless you want a punch in the face...

I read this today and thought about if I should repost it.  And I decided, yep.  This sums it up.  Everything my friends and I talk about at dinner every week.  Everything that I've said in my head.  Out loud. In a status update.  And if you are offended...really, get over yourself.

NEVER ASK A MILITARY SPOUSE ANY OF THIS CRAP
1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)
 

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.) *and let me add...if you don't think you could do it, YOU CAN'T.  Plain and simple.  I'm better than you.  Realize, Acknowledge and Move On.*

3. “At least he’s not in Iraq.”
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf?)

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored.)
6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
(We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 6-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, and he flew comfortably on a commercial plane. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Hyundai Excel with a Mercedes convertible.) **this is MY FAVORITE! Please please please come say this to me if you want me to punch you in the face.  Civilians have NO CLUE what my days are like. Does your husband bring you home gifts from his business trips? Mine brings home sand, in a tiny little tabasco bottle.  Thats all.  And a SHIT ton of laundry that hasn't been washed properly in a year.  And nightmares.  Yeah.  Thats what I thought.  So shut your mouth.  And also, I don't care if your cousin's husbands brother is over there.  Its NOT THE SAME.  Wether its your son, your cousin, your best friend from junior high...I DON'T CARE!  You can justify all you want, but its NOT THE SAME.  This is MY HUSBAND.  The father of my children.  My other half.  I am not the same without him, nor is he without me.  Don't try to say that your son, cousin, BFF being deployed is the same as my husband being deployed.  Unless you want a punch in the face.**

9. “Wow you must miss him?”
(This one also gets antoher big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)

10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”
(I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.) **here's a tip...GOOGLE!**

11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)

12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”
(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. “Well in my opinion…..”
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

Last, but not least….

14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
(He’s doing his job and he’s a badass. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers/marines/airmen/coasties/sailors fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

Today is *the day!

Its finally here.  The big day.  We've been waiting *at least a year for this and finally its upon us.

Timmy turned 5 today.  And that means, oh yes, he got his ninja skills today.  He's been so very patient, waiting since his last birthday, to be 5, so those ninja skills would kick in.  And they don't disappoint.  Tomorrow morning when he wakes up, he will be a ninja.

Be warned...beware.  Cause when you least expect it....Hiiiiiiiiiya!!!



Happy Birthday Tuney!  I love you so much!!

My Year in Review

Rewinding back to Myspace blog days, I thought a year end wrap up was needed.  Shall we head to the highlight reel?

January--Timmy turned 4.  We celebrated with a Toy Story party with all his friends and family. It was a fun day with cake and a TON of Toy Story presents! 

February--Sydney turned 10.  Dave was at JRTC in Louisiana for the whole month.  Nik went on his first date, I tool him and his girlllllllllfriend to see Gnomeo and Juliet.

March--We celebrated Dave's birthday.  I was back in the gym getting ready for our cruise in April.  Timmy got in on the couponing train.

April--celebrated my 13 year anniversary with my hubby and took a cruise with my best friends, my niece and nephew and my mom and sister.

May--Dave left for deployment #3 =(

June--we found out that Taylor was having a baby =)

July--Katie came to visit and we went to the Grand Canyon and saw the final Harry Potter movie.

August--back to school!  3 kids, 3 schools.  Hectic to say the least, but they are each loving every second! I also found StopCMV.org at the very end of the month. <3

September--I became the mom of a teenager.  God help me...

October--I turned 36.  We found out that Taylor is having a girl.

November--Thanksgiving and the month of Thanks on Facebook.

December--ran my first 5K.  We celebrated Christmas and New Years with my mom.

It was definitely a good year.  This year is looking to be even better.  I get my husband home for R&R and not too long after that I get him home for good. I welcome the chance to never have to send him away again. I get to take my kids on a cruise.  I get to cruise with my best friends.  Timmy is going to start Kindergarten.  Sydney is going to start middle school.  Nik is going to be one year closer to driving.  The opportunities will be endless!

My hope for all of you is that this New Year bestows many blessings upon you and yours. And maybe a pair of Christian Louboutins <3

Bloggy Makeover!

I have the BEST. FRIEND. IN. THE. WORLD!.  Yay Brianna Seely....she made my blog much more about me and my kids than stinking pink birdies =)   I love it.  You should comment on this and let her know you love it too! 

It's just about ME for once

Today is all about me.  Why?  Because this is my blog and if I want it to be about me, I can.  So there.

I ran my first 5K yesterday.  Insane, I know.  I never in a million years thought I could.  But I did it.  My goal was to finish in less than 45 minutes, and I did!!  it was 40:25 I think.  20-something at any rate.  It was 25 degrees, snow flurries, wind and did I mention it was COLD?  It was COLD.  But I did it.  And I'm going to do it again, although its gonna have to be warmer.  I'm thinking springtime.  Maybe summer.  When I take the next cruise.  Just warmer.  There has to be a bathing suit 5k somewhere right?

Here are some pictures from the race.

The mountains are gone!!!

Sometimes you have to watch what you say...

The other day, Rachel comes out of the bathroom and tells Taylor and I, "Next time I wear layers, make sure to remind me not to wear these underwear".  Well Taylor and I start laughing and Timmy who was, to our knowledge, not paying a LICK of attention to anything pipes up with, "no one wants to see your underwear!".  Laughs all around as Rachel replies back, "I had to show mommy and Taylor, no one sees my underwear except Mr. Tim.  He wears it on his head!" More laughter.  Fast forward to the next day.  I am in the bathroom, getting ready to go *somewhere.  And I get this amazing amazing video.  I had to ask him to repeat it because I was laughing so hard the first time he told me.  Oh Timmy...my never ending source of entertainment!

Attacking Cans

Oh Tuna.  Even when we are trying to help Sissy go to bed, it turns into a comedy. 

We put Syd in her bed, and were getting her feeding tube all situated.  He dropped a can on his foot, and the following is the transcript:

Timmy: OW OW OW OW owowowowowowowwow!! Stupid can!
Me: you are fine Timmy.  Shake it off.
Timmy: NO!  OW OW OW!
Me: Well, tell that can, that its not nice to fall on your foot.
Timmy: (picking up the can) How do you like this can? (throws it across the room) Who's the kid now?  Huh?
Me: You tell that can Timmy!
Timmy: (picking up can) Seee, I'm gonna punch you in the face you can!
Me: Hmmm, ok, thats enough beating the can, plus I need it now. 

He was seriously SO mad at the can.  He sure let it know who was boss.