Bedtime Conversation

Oh Dave, Brad, Davis, Teddy...you guys are gonna love this...

I tell Timmy, its time to go to bed, in his bed.  No getting up, no coming downstairs...BED.  So I was picking up some toys and putting his pillow case on and I turn around and he is laying naked on the floor....well with his pants around his ankles.  So I look at him and...

me: are you ready for your diaper?
Timmy: yeah.  My penis is sad.
Me: What?
Timmy: my penis is sad.
Me: why do you say that?
Timmy: cause its pointing down.  Its sad I have to go to bed.  In the morning its up, cause its happy I am awake.
Me: Oh really...
Timmy: yeah.  Its just sad.  See?

 I swear to you, I was DYING.  Seriously, what kid his age understands that much about morning wood?  Sigh.  What am I gonna do with this kid???

No one likes you...

My blog today is about an event yesterday that was a pretty good life lesson and unintentionally hilarious all at the same time.  I think I might have scarred my kids for life...one in a good way and the other...not so much lol.

Yesterday, after Katie got here, we went to Safeway to get a few things for dinner.  There was a homeless lady sitting outside, near the library book return.  Trying to be in the shade, but it wasn't really working and it was HOT yesterday.  So I decided to teach my kids a lesson in giving to the less fortunate.

We got the couple things I needed for dinner then wandered around for a few to pick up things for this lady.  Nikolas thought it was just stuff for our trip on Sunday.  We grabbed a tuna fish lunch kit with crackers, an apple, a resealable bag of chips and a bottle of water.  I put those items in a separate bag from my other items.  When we were talking out, I handed Nik the bag and said go give this to the lady sitting by the book return.  He went over, handed her the bag and she kept saying "No, no, are you sure?" and Nik said "My mom bought it for you, just take it" so she gave us a wave and we continued across the parking lot to the car.

(So that was the scarring Nikolas part...I think I scarred him in a good way...I think he really understood the message I was showing him.)

So we get to the car, Katie was putting Sissy in, I was buckling Timmy then gonna take the cart to the cart corral thingy...

Nik: Mom that lady was so happy.  That was really nice.
Me (to Katie as I buckle Timmy): Ya know, not everyone likes tuna, but sometimes, beggars can't be choosers...
Katie: exactly! It was still nice...
Me: :::shutting the door and turning to take the cart back:::
Timmy: (in a little tiny sad voice) Nobody likes me?
Katie:  Oh no!!
Me: ::racing to reopen the door:: No no no, buddy, not everyone likes tunnnnnnnnnnnnnnna
Katie: tuna fish...the food...the food!
Me: Oh my god! No honey, everyone loves you.
Timmy: ok
Me: :::returning the cart and then getting back in the car::::
Katie: Really? hahahahahha You are so going to hell...

So yeah, poor Timmy.  "Not everybody likes tuna..." Sigh.  I guess I need to choose my words more carefully next time. I think he may be scarred for life.  He was so mortified at the thought that not EVERYONE liked him lol.  My poor kiddo.  He rebounded pretty quick, but that was a definitely a lesson for me lol.

A Little July 4 conversation...

Let me start by saying that I hope everyone had a magical 4th!  Its one of my favorite holidays, not just because its the anniversary of the day I met my hubby, but because I love everything it stands for.

I spent the day with my family...the kiddies, Taylor, Rachel, Colleen and Woody.  It was laid back, with more food than necessary and we stayed up way too late chatting outside. All in all, it was a fantastic day.

But, I know the real reason you came here...you wanna know what gem came out of the mouth of my child.  And I won't disappoint.  Yesterday AM, I was doing a little prep work in the kitchen with Timmy.  He was sitting on the counter while I made kool aid and pasta salad.  He is telling me a story about "his friends" aka the annoying kids down the block.

Timmy: ...then my friend, the boy, said we were gonna get be-rested.
Me: really?  be-rested?
Timmy: yup, he brought out some be-resting tools and said the cops would come and we would get be-rested.
Me: well, I'm pretty sure no one has ever gotten A-rrested cause they argued with their friends
Timmy: yeah!  the cops would come and take you to jail... (note to self: stop telling Timmy if he misbehaves in the car the cops will pull me over and arrest me and take me to jail and he'll have to wipe his own butt)
Me: I promise that won't happen Timmy.
Timmy: Mom, can people be-scape from jail? (this is where it gets interesting)
Me: Absolutely.  people escape from jail all the time...
Timmy: How? (I think perhaps he wanted tips for the future...)
Me: Wellllll, just say you got arrested and went to jail, and we wanted to help you escape...well then Nicky would do something to get sent to jail but first he would find the blueprints on how the jail was built and get them tattooed all over his body.  Then you would have a map that leads you right to safety.  Then of course you would have to go live far away, like Panama or something, so that the cops can't find you.  And your friends that broke out of jail with you would try to help you stay away from the cops but sometimes they will get caught and might tell on you.  Your girlfriend, who was a doctor in the prison, will follow you all around, cause she really loves you.  And eventually the cops will be on your side and you and your girlfriend will get married and live on a boat.
Timmy: Cops have boats mom....
Me: yeah but your boat will be faster...

I'll give you 10 bonus points for knowing where I came up with *that story to tell Timmy...

Oh yes, I spouted off the plotline to Prison Break.  I'm probably gonna win some kind of award for that....